The first day of the new school year is here. One in second grade and one officially in pre-school. Both starting in new classrooms with new teachers. One with a bunch of new kids.
The night before we talk about the next day with the big one and talk about a first day of school outfit. She switches from her favorite Justice t-shirt and skinny jeans to sparkly leggings and a hot pink tunic with a bow headband. You never get a second chance to make a first impression so dress to impress.
“Mom, where is my class again?”
“The second door on the left as you enter the hall. You’ll remember.”
Monday morning arrives just a bit earlier than all of the mornings during the summer, but just as sleepy. After I’m dressed I head through the living room to the kitchen.
“I need everyone up and putting on clothes. No dressing, no TV.”
“But I’m eating my corn dog.” (James eats a corn dog every single morning.)
“Five minutes and then I’m turning off the TV if you aren’t getting dressed.”
In the kitchen, I start packing the requested back to school lunch, peanut butter sandwich with honey. I add some grapes, a few chips, and some juice to round everything out. I decide to pack myself a sandwich (ham and cheese for me), grapes, and a few chips as well. So much easier to pack two than to pack the one.
“Mom, which class is mine?”
“The second on the left. Go get dressed.”
Lunches are finished, “Cady do you want breakfast?” She doesn’t always eat in the mornings. She prefers to eat later, but that doesn’t work when she is in school.
“Yes. A breakfast sandwich.”
She comes in the kitchen, all sparkly leggings and hot pink tunic. An outfit that would have been very similar to something I would have worn on my first day to school way back when. Some how over the summer she has managed to grow by leaps and bounds, both of them have, and now she is tall enough to fit right under my chin.
“Mom, can you tell me one more time where my class is?”
“Second on the left Babe. You’ll be fine. Your teacher’s name is right above the door. Go brush your teeth.”
She leaves to brush her teeth. “James, how is it going?” He comes in the kitchen for me to button his shorts, but in the process he starts doing the potty dance.
“I have to go weally bad.”
“Ok, but hurry and come right back.”
A breakfast sandwich for Cady and one for me. James had his corn dog and he will eat more breakfast at daycare. Coffee is prepped. Backpack is ready with the lunch kit next to it. My lunch is packed and ready for me to grab as I walk out the door.”
“Mom, can you write a note where my class is that I can take with me?”
“Sure. Go get one of the notes for me.”
She brings me the yellow pack of post it notes and write her teacher’s name at the top.
“Can you put an arrow so I know which side to look on?”
I draw the arrow. “You’re going to be fine. You’ll find it. And there will be people there to help. Let’s get our shoes on.”
We head to the living room where we find our shoes and start putting them on.
“James your shirt is on backward.”
“I know how to fix it.”
He turns his shirt around all by himself and goes to brush his teeth.
“Alright guys we need to move it. We’ve got two minutes. Cady, let me take a photo of you for your first day of school.”
She grabs her new backpack and lunch kit and gives me a great big smile filled with first day jitters. James is finished brushing his teeth and I help him with his socks and shoes. We grab our things and head out the door.
Everyone is quickly buckled in their seats and we head to school. James is dropped off first because his routine is really not changing. He just gets a new teacher and classroom, but in the same building he has been in for a year. They have already been transitioning him to his new class, and nothing will be that different for him.
I drive to Cady’s new campus. The traffic is crazy with all of the parents bringing their kids in for the first day. After a week or so things will level out and drop off will go much quicker. We finally get to the drop off point in front of the school.
“Is this where I get out?”
“I don’t know. Oh look, here’s a teacher. I guess you do.”
The teacher opens the back door all smiles, “Good morning!”
Cady grabs her things as she gets out of the car, yellow post it note clutched tightly in her hand.
“I love you Babe. Have a great first day!”
She jumps out of the truck and starts the walk into school. I pull away from the curb and start making my way through the traffic. It happens when I pull out into the street. My heart clenches like it is being squeezed in a vise, and my lungs stop pulling in air properly. Biology quickly takes over, and while my body operates the way it is supposed to, I feel like a lead weight has been pressed into my chest.
I quickly start to think about other things to distract myself, what I need to do at work, this post, anything to stop the inevitable. Then I realize that in the rush I did not get a chance to give her a kiss or even a squeeze of the hand. The tears build up and spill over. There is no stopping them.
Another year, another inch, another shoe size, and another step closer to the door.
Our youngest walked out the proverbial door this past weekend and onto a college campus. Very bittersweet. But I have found that when they’re happy, you’re happy. Enjoy every moment it does go fast.
It is so bittersweet. We raise them to be bigger, but then they are.
It’s so hard. Days go by slowly, but years in the blink of an eye. As I watched my two youngest ones walk into the school today, I couldn’t help but think about my oldest. Eighteen, on the other side of the country, when only yesterday he was in kindergarten. I hope you find your distractions today. Hugs
I can not even fathom the feeling of having one that far away from me. I don’t know what I do. In these moments I think back to my mom and wonder how she let me get married at 18. It must have killed her.
Aww! That was a wonderful re-cap of the first morning back. Not getting in that hug or kiss before they are off is so heartbreaking, but at least we get to grab one when they come home in the afternoon, right?
Most mornings we don’t get hugs and kisses before they exit the car, but still… this was the first day. I needed the hug even if she didn’t.
I’m sorry you’re first day back was a bit rough! I am always so excited for Buddy, that I completely gloss over the fact that it’s another year closer to him leaving for college or wherever he goes (hopefully college!).
One of my friends was seriously paranoid that her kids wouldn’t be able to find their classrooms (we are in a new school this year). I had to remind her a million times that there would be TONS of teachers out on the first day to walk the kids to their class if they needed help. No one would let a child stand in the middle of the hallway not knowing where to go. I completely expect that from children, but not from a parent.
Cady tends to obsess over these types of things a little too much. I try to do things to encourage her to be independent and not worry as much, like dropping her off instead of walking her in. Tonight I will make a big deal out of how she is so much “bigger” and doesn’t need my help as much. It lifts her up even if I’m crying inside that it is true.
Oh how sweet! Look how adorable she is
I sent my oldest to preschool for the first time on Friday! It was rough but he absolutely loved it. We’re totally new to this “sending kids to school” thing, so I think the adjustment was harder on me than on him!
I hope she has a great first day!
I don’t think preschool was as hard for me because it was an extension of daycare, but oh… when she started kindergarten? I died. I don’t know what I’ll do next year when the little one starts. I’ll probably have to take the day off to wallow.
Aw, how sweet. My daughter started Kindergarten and wouldn’t stop talking on her first day. She was so ready. But a little nervous too.
Mine is always pretty excited to go back. Thankfully she had “a GREAT day!” in her words.
It’s nice to be kinda busy in the morning because you don’t have time to reflect on what’s going on but once they walk away from you, it hits you like a brick. I know.
That last sentence of yours really got me… oh man!!
Exactly. The rush keeps everything at bay, but the minute that part is over it all comes rushing in.
Oh you stop it! You just made me cry.
Next week, I am going to be a mess. Sure I want the triplets in school but you bet your ass as soon as I drop them off… I will be a mess. A sobbing, weepy mess.
All my kids in school… at once. Sometimes it’s not fair having triplets. They all come together and they all leave together.
But eventually they will all leave separately. Surely. Right?
Can I just say that I loved you already, but I love you even more now that I know you let your kid eat a corn dog in the morning? My kids eat all sorts of odd things in the a.m.–leftover pizza, mac and cheese, bacon dipped in ketchup. Hey, as long as they eat, right?
He does. With mustard or miracle whip. One morning even tried it with hot sauce. I’m just happy when they eat something in the morning. I’m not particular about what it is.
I cracked up at the corn dog… And I love the pink tunic!
Oh, those first days back to school. So hard!
About a week back I shipped one off to college (sophomore year), and his brother, home barely 5 days after studying overseas, just arrived hundreds of miles away, starting back to college tomorrow morning.
I won’t say it goes quickly when they’re little (it didn’t for me), but college? It seems to be speeding by, and I can’t quite fathom it.
Lovely post.
I just don’t want to think about them being that big. I don’t know how I’ll deal. I know I will because there isn’t any other choice, but I just don’t want to think about it anymore.
The rush makes us not able to think too much about it til they are out of the car. Hope they had great first days!
Exactly. Then the moment they are gone the bottom drops out and you realize what just happened.
That is tomorrow for us. I am totally stressed and all three of them are super excited. I am definitely one who would forget that last hug.
I know I am going to be a mess tomorrow – two in middle school and my baby starting first grade. I don’t know how they got that old!
And I love that they eat whatever in the morning. We do the same!
Big, big hugs. Indulge yourself in something frivolous today.
Oh, beautiful Momma.
Can I come cry on your shoulder?
Yes, if I can come cry on yours in a couple of years when mine go off to college.
Last line of this post. YES. Sniff, sniff.
this post brought tears to my eyes!! my kids start school next week!! sigh.. my daughter in 2nd grade and my son in 5th…. next year middle school!!
love your blog!! thanks for being so real!