Last night on Facebook Heather (from the Extraordinary Ordinary) linked up this beautiful post from Lyz Lenz about having it all. As a working mom trying to do a million different things it really spoke to me.
Basically it was her response to another piece written by Anne Marie Slaughter for The Atlantic titled Why Women Still Can’t Have it All. I call bullshit.
I think there is this huge misconception about “having it all.” Like everything you want is just sitting out there waiting for you to take it. That isn’t the truth at all. Having it all takes work and sacrifice.
You can’t expect to have great kids without instruction and discipline. You can’t expect to have a great career without time and dedication. You can’t expect to have a long lasting marriage without working your ass off to make it work.
Do these things sometimes clash with one another? Of course they do. When I was younger, before kids, working my butt off in public accounting for a “career” I joked that I had achieved work life balance because my life was my work.
It was true at the time, but as I’ve gotten older (and wiser I hope) I realize that balance isn’t about having everything in place at one time. It is about learning how to juggle your responsibilities and aspirations so that the most important ones are in the air getting your attention when they need to be. Sometimes that’s your kids and sometimes that your job.
So… can we have it all? Yes. We can have all that we are willing to work for.
This post is being linked up with Heather for Just Write.
I think you nailed it Jennifer.
There are many people that don’t want to work for anything. They think it should be handed to them.
If you want something….you have to go after it.
Exactly. No one ever had their dream handed to them.
Amen, sister.
There’s probably not a week that goes by that I’m not called ‘too hard’ or something along those lines.
Why? Because I have a hard time with women who want things handed to them simply because they are women. Everything I have I have worked for and busted my ass for. It didn’t all come easy but it’s all been worth it.
Connie is right: If you want something…you have to go after it.
Nothing I’ve ever got was given to me. Nothing.
Exactly I couldn’t agree with you more. There is no balance.
I work extremely hard every day to make sure that I am taking care of what I need to take care of that day. Sometimes it is a focus on my work, sometimes it is my children, sometimes it is even me.
I have an “eye on the prize” mentality. Stay focused and determined. Heaven help the slackers and negative people who get in my way. No patience.
Exactly. Not everything will be 100% every day, but oh on those days when it does align… magic.
You made some great points. One I liked especially was that nothing gets handed to you. You have to work for it.
I think people have forgotton, or aren’t being taught anymore, that you really have to work to achieve your goals. Even Jerry Rice (football star) said, “Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.”
Yep, uh huh. What you said.
absolutely. to have it all comes with a price called hard work.
I agree completely – we can have what we’re willing to work hard for. Love that.
(I also think that sometimes we have to adjust our expectations, you know?)
Oh yes! Most definitely, but I think maybe that is a different thing. Sort of.
And OH HOW NICE it is to be older and wiser so I/we don’t have to stress about having it all…..or wait….being older and wiser means I figured out I DO have it all despite not having it all…..or something like that.
Exactly something like that. And while enjoy the wiser, I’m still not so sure about the older.
I really think you found the answer here. Everything in life worth having is something we have to work for. Some of the sweet things in life are free, but others they need to you really step up and earn it!
Yes we can – but not to the extremes that we used to want it – now we can have a little of everything … in moderation.
gorgeous post.
thanks!
sarahxx
So true, and excellently written. There’s really no such thing as “having it all.” A person will always want for more…more money, more time, more love, more whatever. It’s human nature.
It’s when you can be content with what you do have that really matters.
And like you said, you can only have what you’re willing to work for.
Love it! And yes we just have to decided what we want to work for- which is totally different for every single person out there and then work our butts off for it.
That is what the American Dream is about is that we have the possibility to work for it- not that we can just have it all- but that we can work for it all.
Thanks for the link on your marvelous site. I think what Anne-Marie Slaughter was saying was that she did work hard, achieved her dream and while she was living it (and working hard) the dream started to crumble. And she found herself in a place where she had to make a choice that her male colleagues didn’t have to make. I think she makes a fair point. There is still a lack of support for working women. Twice companies have tried to hire me and told me they have no maternity leave policies (no, thank you!). So, I can sympathize with the feeling that you are working hard and feeling like you aren’t getting to where you want to be. But the only real answer to that is to just keep working harder and change things for the next generation.
Well said.