Have you ever seen those happiness quotes? “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” Or something equally confusing that makes you think “how profound” and “then why am I not happy” all at the same time? Or is that just me?
Source: amyfabulous.com via Sascha on Pinterest
I have a dear friend that has always amazed me with her ability to be happy in every situation. Not FIND happiness. BE happy. For her it is not something you find. It is something you are.
This was never made more clear to me than about four months after James was born. Cady had come down with what I thought was “just croup” but turned out to be a serious respiratory illness. Serious enough to have her rushed to the hospital via ambulance and have to stay for three days.
At the same time my friend was pregnant with a baby girl she knew was not going to survive the pregnancy, and if by some miracle she was born alive, she would die shortly after being born.
I did not call my friend while Cady was in the hospital. One reason was because I did not want to add to her burden. Another was because my situation just seemed so minor when compared to what she was going through.
She found out afterward and called me, very indignant, “Why didn’t you call me when Cady was in the hospital?”
“You were going through so much already. Plus my problem was so minor compared to what you are going through.”
“Stop it. Stop it right now. This? It is what it is and I’m not going to let it take anything away from the rest of my life.”
Wow. I was blown away by her attitude. I still am. Here she was going through the worst thing I could ever imagine and she was determined to not let it steal her joy. And this wasn’t a one time thing for her. The girl has lived a life that just one of her life events would have you pulling your problems back out of the pile as quick as possible.
While she was pregnant she had multiple friends and family members try to convince her to have an abortion. She refused. She said, “God gave me this baby and I will be a mother to her for as long as He allows.” Once again. Wow.
How many of us are going through something where we say
If I just lose this weight…
If I just get that job…
If I could just find a boyfriend/husband/partner…
If I could just get pregnant…
If I could just get this bill paid…
If I could just get through the school year/ summer/ Christmas…
If, if, if… I know I do this. I’m horrible about it. But what are we losing. We are trading the happiness we could have today for… for what? For the ideal? For everything to be “just right”? For the perfect time?
Newsflash. There is no ideal, no just right, no perfect time.
Happiness is not a destination. It is also not a journey. It is an emotion hidden in our hearts waiting for us to take it out and let it shine.
I want to offer you a challenge:
Just Be Happy. Now.
Oh I wish I could. I’m trying so hard to let that happy shine through the depression I’m experiencing. I cling to all the small moments that i’m blessed with during my day.
I often hear of tragic stories like this and I feel 1000000x worse that I am depressed. There is nothing, no situation that I have to be depressed about….just my chemicals in my brain are all jumbled up.
But I love your attitude. And your friend? Jusst amazing. Really
I think depression is a separate issue. I know. I’ve been there. Once you get all of those nasty chemicals balanced it is a lot easier to be happy.
Amen.
I do think as women, society puts a lot on us on what should make us happy. I know for me, as I have aged and jumped into my 40′s, the things that used to consume me with anger and anxiety no longer do.
I just don’t give a rats ass. Maybe it’s attitude. Maybe it’s senility.
And I’m happier. And life goes on. And I like me.
I think it definitely gets easier as you get older.
I think my husband needs to read this. I’m someone who is generally happy. Yeah, I have my bad days and times, but overall, I know that I have a good life…a life a lot of people would love to have. I am pretty content/happy with what I have, whereas my husband is always looking for someone else to add and make him happi-ER. The problem is, that just doesn’t usually work.
Great post!
Right. Other people can’t make you happy unless you are happy within yourself.
This is awesome! And wow your friend truly is inspirational as I am usually a happy person but I don’t know if I would even have such a good attitude during the trial she went through. Wow. Thank you for sharing this.
She really is amazing.
Over here from the new FB group. Absolutely gorgeous and well written thoughts. Granted I was born in 85- so ultrasounds and more where not near what they are today, but my mom was told I was not alive in the womb and that I would be stillborn. She absolutely refused to abort me and thankfully she didn’t. Turns out I was just a very very mellow baby.
In the end, I think you have to follow your heart and thrive in what makes it shine. Everything else is just radio static!
Agreed, and good for your mom!
I love this message… ‘Just Be Happy, Now’
This is something I struggle with and need to take this challenge.
I struggle with it too.
WOW. Just the kick in the pants I need.
The kick in the pants I need every day.
Your friend sounds extraordinary. We need more people like her in the world. Thanks for the reminder to appreciate what I have.
I’m always astounded at how happy she can be.
I have known true unhappiness and turmoil. That life is long gone.
The life I have now feels like a fantasy. Like I won the lottery and this is my prize. Sure, I’d like to live in a real house instead of a cramped apartment but we’re happier here than we’ve ever been. When we finally do live in a house with a yard and a garden, it will feel like an amazing gift.
This is exactly what I mean. You aren’t waiting for the happy you are feeling it now.
I generally think I make the most out of life. I would much rather be happy than sad. And I agree it is all about making a choice. And I think we set an example for our children with this attitude.
Your friend is amazing!
She is REALLY amazing!
I love this -and needed to read and HEAR it- so very much.
(Thank you.)
A friend of mine says, “Lower your expectations, and be grateful” as her mantra. That kind of rocks too, doesn’t it?)
I might need to tattoo that on my arm.
I am so with you on this. I know too many people who don’t choose happiness.
I think for a lot of us it doesn’t come naturally and is something we need to practice.
brilliant.
Thanks.
That first quote is a great reminder. It seems these days my automatic response is negativity. I can and will choose happiness!
I think my automatic reaction has always been negative.
I lot of people choosing happiness..I will choose to be happy..
I’m going to try.
This is so true, you can’t wait around for the right time to be happy. I know I used to think when my son was an infant that life would be easier when he was this age or that age, but every age and time has a challenge so I figured I might as well accept it for what it was and enjoy it. Great post.
Exactly. To me it just gets harder, not easier.
This post was so close to home. I am the “If I” girl. I have tried not to be but most of the time I lose and fall right back into “If I” without even noticing. This week, I decided to kick myself off of my computer as much as possible and enjoy the beautiful weather, my girls’ last week of school and do something I love (working in my yard). I didn’t say “If I only had better weather.”, “If I only had more creative presents to send with my girls to school for their thank yous.” and/or “If I only had a landscaping company.”. I just did things and went at them with a happy heart and this has honestly been the best week that I have had in a long time. You are right! Happiness is in all of us…we just have to let it out!
Beautiful post, Jennifer!! You heart couldn’t be bigger!!
I do that some thing. If this would happen… When this is done… If I could only get past this thing.
One of my mantras is that happiness is not dependent upon external circumstances. One you accept this, your entire life opens up. You articulate this sentiment beautifully in this post!
I need that same mantra.
This is such a great post with a great message that I really needed to read right now. I am the kind of person who is usually happy regardless of circumstances, but some people don’t understand that. They think it’s because I don’t care what’s going on or I’m in denial or….I don’t know what they think sometimes. But it’s not that. I just choose happiness.
I’m in awe of people that can think like that. I wish I could do it.
I am, mostly. *Despite of* a some things, and *because of a heck of a lot more!*
Exactly. Me too.
Thanks for sharing this great post..I know a lot of people can relate to this post hope you will continue to share..
I needed this today. I have been getting caught up in a lot of emotion lately about this move and things that I have no control over. DJ told me today to just stop it- none of it is worth worrying about until we get there and these things actually happen. The fact is- many things are completely out of our control here and I am not comfortable with that. I can’t change the fact it is out of my control, so I have to just accept it and be happy with it. That is such a hard concept for me, but I know I have to do it.
David tells me stuff like that all the time. I don’t think he gets how hard it is for me to just stop thinking.