My little buddy

When you have that first baby, your heart swells. You feel love like you’ve never felt before. You look at your husband and your parents in a different way. Her needs and wants consume your life, and you can’t imagine ever loving another person as much as you do her.

Then you find out you are pregnant with baby number two and your heart breaks a little bit. You feel bad because you know there is just not room in your heart to love anyone else as much as you do your first. Guilt starts to stab at you because you know that this new baby is going to take time, love, and attention away from your precious first born.

But then that new baby is born and something miraculous happens. Your heart grows. It makes room for the new baby. You realize that you DO love him as much as the first. Maybe not the same way, because he is a different person, but just as much. Then you see the new baby with your first baby and you feel a love that you never even imagined possible. That’s what second babies do.

Happy birthday Bud! I’m so glad you came into our family four years ago. I don’t know what we would do without your silly grins, funny jokes, or most awesome hugs. You remind me on a daily basis what love and happiness is, and you can always make me smile no matter what, just like your daddy. I know we had a rough start, but I’m so glad we persevered. I can’t imagine my life without you.

being a mom

Linking up with Memories Captured.

Comments

  1. says

    Happy 4th Birthday little guy!

    You have perfectly described my feelings about my soon-t0-be-born second child – and reassured me that I WILL love him as much, albeit probably differently.

    Thanks for linking up with us!

  2. says

    Happy birthday, handsome boy! I am hoping you’re right. I am hoping that two will mean more love, not less to go around.

    • says

      Ahhh, he says that when he wants something. “Momma, I’ll be your best fwiend.” But when he gets mad it is, “I’m not going to be your best fwiend anymore.”

  3. says

    Okay and I had to come back and comment here- I have been reading his birth story! What an awful horrible experience. Wow! I get the shakes after c-sections too- but wow I can’t even imagine all you went through.

    • says

      It was pretty horrific. I have to try not to think about it too much or I have flashbacks that are not pleasant. I had some dental work last year, and the anesthesia caused me to have shakes and really bad flashbacks. It was horrible.

  4. says

    Such a sweet pic!

    You described a mama’s love perfectly. I remember sitting in the rocking chair beside my oldest’s crib when I was enormously pregnant and sobbing b/c I felt bad for taking the spot of being the baby away from my oldest. But of course it all worked out.
    Shell recently posted…Pour Your Heart Out: There are Two of UsMy Profile

  5. says

    Thanks for this post Jennifer! We have just started trying for our second and I have had all of the thoughts that you mentioned. Thanks for letting me know it’s normal and OK. I can’t wait to let my heart grow!
    Kim recently posted…Hello, my name is…My Profile

    • says

      It is so perfectly normal. I promise that second one will fill up your heart with so much love you will wonder how it was ever possible.