In the last six months I’ve been to two teen/tween centered events, to see The Hunger Games on opening weekend and a Taylor Swift concert in November. The thing that kind of surprised me at both events were the number of young girls trying to emulate the star.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about trends. I think trends are cool. How many of us wore rubber bracelets and lace bows like Madonna in the 80′s? Although I don’t remember ever seeing anyone walk around in a cone bra.
It seems to me that this goes deeper than trends today. The number of girls walking around the Taylor Swift concert with their hair and makeup done exactly like her and with clothes all similar to her styling… it bordered on creepy. At The Hunger Games I would guess that 75% of girls had their hair in a “Katniss” braid. All it takes is a Pinterest or Google search to see how many tutorials are out there for people to copy this style.
The thing that makes Madonna and Taylor Swift and other people like that popular is that they are themselves. They do not try to be anyone else. They embrace their uniqueness.
I’ve heard interviews with Taylor Swift where she described herself as the nerdy girl in class jotting down song lyrics. She didn’t get to be a mega star by trying to fit in. She did it by being Taylor.
I have conversations with my Big Girl…
“Mom do you wish I was smart like J?”
“No Baby. I want you to be smart like you.”“Mom do you wish I could hit the ball like B?”
“No Baby. I want you to hit the ball like you.”“Mom do you wish I could dance like D?”
“No Baby. I want you to dance like you.”
Last night I sat at softball practice and watched these seven to nine year old girls running and playing and what I wished for them more than anything was for them to just be themselves.
We don’t need another Madonna or Taylor or even a Katniss. What we need is a you. A you that is the best you that you can be. Be yourself. You are perfect just the way you are.
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr. Seuss
I love, love, love this post. And by the way, I see this happening with my boys too, and their sports idols.
Thanks. I don’t think my son is old enough for that yet so I haven’t seen it.
Lovely. It starts so young, doesn’t it? My daughter is six and she said she wanted to be like another girl in her class. I didn’t know what to say. I think I came up with something along the lines of, “I love you for you.” I hope she see it.
I’ve been amazed at how young all of this stuff starts. I’m just hoping because it starts so young she will conquer it young as well.
Brilliant advice. So dead on. I LOVE it : )
Thank you!
My older daughter has always stood out. I will hear her comment about someone’s look that she likes, but then she immediatley follows up with “but I’d wear it this way instead.” I’m glad she has this individuality and I hope it stays around. My middle girl, though? I fear she may be one controlled by “supposed to be’s” rather than what her gut tells her she likes. It’s a constant battle, staying on top of them to make sure the media/society’s pictures of perfection are not. You’re doing a great job w/your positive responses!
Your oldest is awesome! That’s exactly how I would want my Big Girl to be. Acknowledge the greatness of others, and see how you can adapt it for yourself.
I love this. I want to teach this to my daughter.
I think we should all teach it to our daughters. Can you imagine a generation that thinks they are awesome just the way they are?
I love this. It’s such a hard lesson to learn.
It is a really hard lesson to learn.
So true. I find myself wanting to be Katniss…hmmm. Maybe I should stop that.
Maybe you should think about the characteristics about her that you would like to be like and find ways that you are like that or see how can be. For instance, she’s a survivor… Do you feel that way about yourself? What are some things you’ve survived in your personal life that show you are a strong person? Self improvement is a good thing. Total emulation… not so much.
You are such a good Mom. Keep driving that message home and she’ll get it.
I adore this post so much!!!
That’s the plan. And thanks for sharing.
Wow. So powerful. I need to adopt your language with my twins especially, and with my third girl as she gets older (she’s only 5 months now). Beautiful points. The media is incredibly influential, even on me. I need to work on being MYSELF in order to teach my daughters to be THEMSELVES, too…
Oh yes. I think the media is constantly shouting at us to be “normal.” But normal? Totally overrated.
I reALLY REALLY LOVE THIS! So glad my daughter is not yet at the age where she wants to “be” anyone else…I’m not ready for it yet.
Well maybe she ill possess an independent spirit and never have to go through this. That would be awesome.
“We don’t need another Madonna or Taylor or even a Katniss. What we need is a you. A you that is the best you that you can be. Be yourself. You are perfect just the way you are.”
Yes, yes, YES! So important to get this message across at a young age considering *I* still need to remember this at (almost) 34. Excellent post. <3
Thanks! I think we all need these reminders. We are awesome just the way we are.
I think part of the problem is they don’t know who they are yet. They truly aren’t comfortable in their own skin. For me that didn’t happen until my early 20′s. I heard a theory once that tween girls spend all their time trying to look like everyone else because they are SO uncomfortable with their bodies, their emotions, their everything and then it is not until high school or after that they start to feel more comfortable and really become themselves.
I think as parents all we can do is keep on laying that foundation so that when they do start to figure themselves out they have a safe place to land. I think we also can’t pressure them too much NOT to look like their friends or “wanna” be like someone because we want to stress that we accept them for who they are.
Can you tell I am right in the thick of this and have spent some time thinking about how to react!!!
Oh girl I know you are in the thick of it! Your stories scare the bejeezus out of me. LOL
I remember dressing like my friends and trying to fit in, but for some reason this seems to go deeper than that to me. Especially at the Taylor Swift concert. To me it was kind of creepy.
You’re so right. And it’s such a relief when you finally get to the point in life where you see it’s really ok to just be who you are.
Yes! It is so awesome. I was very fortunate to learn this at an early age.
Argh…I was just thinking the something similar. That’s the reason for all the difficulty in the world. Trying to be the same. Hating different.
I agree.
Is this is a girl thing? Because my boys don’t do this. The only people who do any comparisons are me and Jdaddy. The boys don’t compare themselves to anyone.
Regardless, what a fabulous message, and I love your responses to Big Girl’s questions.
I’m hoping boys don’t do this, but mine isn’t old enough yet to know.
Very inspiring! We all need to just be ourselves. The world would be no fun if we were all alike.
This post? Is perfection.
(Thank you.)
Thanks. It just means so much to me that my daughter understand she is exactly who she is supposed to be and not waste years running away from it.
This is so true! Ugh! I wish there was some way to stop this downward spiral of obsessions with superstars. Great Post.
It is like we’ve become uber-obsessed. I know there were celebrity crushes and infatuations when I was a kid, but I don’t remember it being as intense as it is today.