Losing the genetic lottery

A couple of months ago Big Girl came home from school and told me that she failed her eye exam. I didn’t believe her. I had just had her eyes tested about a year ago and they were perfect. I just couldn’t imagine that they had gotten that bad in just a year.

See David had been talking to her about how one day she would probably need to wear glasses. I started wearing them in fourth grade, and he started wearing them in high school. My vision was really horrible until I got Lasik about 10 years ago. I knew she would eventually need glasses, but not right now.

I accused of her a faking the eye exam. I gave her a very stern lecture about how vision is very important and that we do not pretend we can’t see when we really can. I told her it was completely unacceptable for her not to pass that exam when she can really see. I told her that we would just wait and see if I got a note home.

Right before Christmas I got a note home from school that she had failed her eye exam. I knew that I would have to take her back to the eye doctor even though I 100% believed that she did not need glasses or have any vision problems. I put it off because I felt like it was a total waste of my time.

Finally last week I took her to the eye doctor. Guess what?

She loved picking out her favorite pair.

Thankfully she has much better taste than that. She was actually kind of horrified that I wanted to post that photo and only agreed because I promised to post the actual glasses she got right underneath.

She LOVES them and was so excited to get a pair. She kept asking, “Mom, do you remember that I need to go get glasses?” I was not likely to forget because I was completely ABSORBED by mom guilt. Pretty sure this is one of the worst things I’ve done since becoming a mom.

I, of course, apologized to her. She told me it was fine, and I shouldn’t worry about it. I wish it was that easy.

This post is being linked with Parenting by Dummies for Wordful Wednesday.


  1. says

    I had a similar experience with my daughter. Her cousin got glasses so she started saying she needed glasses. I put her off for several months. When I finally took her for her exam, her vision was so bad that she couldn’t even read the first line on the electronic eye chart. Not only could she not read it, she couldn’t even see it. I felt very bad about it for a long time. But, she doesn’t seem to be scarred for life or anything.

  2. says

    She looks adorable in her glasses, very smart. If that is the worse thing you have done as a mom I would say you are a terrific mom :).

  3. says

    Adorable frames! My daughter has worn glasses since she was four. It’s not as challenging as we thought it would be as she has always been careful with them. I think kids can often tell how much their glasses help them.

    • says

      I think once she gets in the habit it will be really easy for her. She has to understand that she has to wear them all the time. I think that is the hardest part right now.

  4. says

    love your blog!

    she looks adorable & don’t beat yourself up too-too bad — i think all mom’s have done similiar things at least once!

    happy wednesday!

  5. says

    She looks adorable in those glasses.

    I would have done the same thing as you. If she passed the exam last year with flying colors, it’s pretty natural to assume that things wouldn’t go downhill so quickly.

    • says

      Thanks. She loves them so much. Of course she prefers the pair that she picked out as opposed to the ones that I picked (that look better).

  6. says

    The first picture made me giggle – she’s such a (cute) ham!! :) Love her new specs – she looks so beautiful! I’m right there with you…and thanks for reminding me, I need to make an eye doctor appointment for Princess Nagger since she failed her recent eye test at school. I was hoping she’d wait until after high school (like I did when my eyesight finally followed my mom’s near-sightedness) but alas, she’s following her dada’s footsteps instead. Poor girl was doomed. 😉

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  7. says

    I flunked the eye test in 8th grade (she got the letter home) and didn’t believe it until I was a junior.

    I delivered the lecture…then she walked into a wall or something.

    Her sister faked, though. When asked, “Did you fake?” She said, “Yes, because I want some cute classes.” This has always been her way. Thank God.

    I think it is a hazard for all moms of girls who love a little bling.

  8. says

    She looks SO cute! I’ve been lucky, neither of my boys have needed glasses, although I have worn mine since probably third grade or so, even after two Lasik surgeries. Thank goodness for my husband’s “good vision” genes!

  9. says

    Those are great glasses! I would have been skeptical too, if it was me. Don’t beat yourself up. My 4th grade daughter wears fake glasses all the time, so if she said she thought she needed real ones I would not believe her. 😉

    • says

      I think it is cool that glasses have become such a fashion accessory. I think that makes it easier for the people that actually have to wear them.

  10. says

    She looks adorable in her glasses! There’s always something to eel guilty about as a mom…at least that is what I have decided. Forgive yourself and move on. :)

    • says

      ALWAYS something to feel guilty about. Last night I walked in the back door and banged Bud in the head. I had no clue of knowing he was standing there, but I still felt bad.I guess guilt just comes with the territory.

  11. says

    Be gentle on yourself. It’s so hard not to feel guilty, especially when we think our kids aren’t being on the up and up (even when we have no justification, it’s just what we think/feel). I LOVE her glasses; they fit her face so well.

    My third grader wears fake glasses all the time. And I fully understand the allure. I DID fail an eye exam on purpose when I was your daughter’s age. My mom believed me, took me to the eye dr who told her I was probably just wanting to be like the other kids or look more studious. I was disgusted that he would suggest such (and I’m giggling now and how indignant I was when I was indeed faking).

    • says

      I hated having to wear glasses so I find it hilarious that other people actually wanted them. But it does make me feel better that it is possible someone would try to fake it.

  12. says

    I love that child. So adorable! And, do you not recall the story about Dude #1 walking around for a full week w/a broken toe? You know, the one where I told him to suck it up and stop his whining about his NOT broken toe? Yeah, we’ve all been there. Don’t sweat it.

    • says

      I don’t remember that, but that reminds me that David had a broken bone in his leg when he was growing up and his mom didn’t believe him. It was jut a small fracture. Years later he had to go for an xray for something else, and the doctor mentioned it. She felt awful. She was pretty much a saint so I guess if she can screw up that bad then I’m doing alright.

  13. says

    Both of my girls wear glasses too. One for close up and one for distance. I’m just thankful that they make them as super cute as Big Girl’s and theirs now. Back in the day they may have been called “four-eyes”. Now, the kids with the glasses blend in with everyone else.