Last year at this time I was battling Big Girl to get her to sleep in her own room. This year I’m battling Bud. Last year at this time I was talking about my lack of focus. This year I started seeing a therapist, I’m working on my sleep issues, I’ve quit Diet Coke, and I’ve joined Weight Watchers. My focus is still not where it was before kids, but I have faith that things will continue to get better.
That was my plan for last year. What is my plan for this year? Well… I was actually thinking about that today. I think this year needs to be the year of me.
I know that sounds awful, but I don’t mean it that way at all.
I’m one of those people that always puts myself last. And I don’t mean just behind the kids. I mean behind the kids, behind David, behind my extended family, behind work… behind pretty much anything. I need to learn to take care of myself
From a practical standpoint I think this will be easy. I just need to come up with a plan with some measurable goals, like going to the gym three times a week, staying within my Weight Watchers points and not missing any meetings, spending time with my friends two to three times a month (even if that is just lunch), buying something for myself every once in awhile, planning downtime, etc.
From an emotional (?) standpoint this is going to be really, really hard. I’m a care taker. It is just easy for me to put other people first, to buy the kids a new pair of shoes, or David a new shirt, or give up my lunch hour, or whatever. It is so hard for me say, “you know what? I’m coming first this time.” I mean, I don’t even do my laundry first. I have no idea how I’ll overcome this hurdle, but I feel that it is necessary to achieve some of the goals that will help everyone.
What about y’all? What are your goals for the year? Any ideas for things I can do to put myself first every once in awhile?
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All of my goals are weightloss related. That’s my main priority, but I guess that equals putting myself first, something I haven’t been very good at either.
I think that definitely takes putting yourself first. That has actually been one of my main hurdles to losing weight. It is hard for me to go to the gym because I make all kinds of excuses about how my family needs me at home.
Oh Mamma! I could have written much of this… in fact, I think I kind of did already
It seems like it might be “The Year of Me” for many of our fellow bloggers!
Best wishes on your journey!
I’m glad I’m not alone.
Last year I resolved to do more for me, and it somewhat worked.
I figure the weight I lost was a huge one for me (as well as for my family), so I at least accomplished something.
I think that is a huge accomplishment.
I think you should also keep a journal. Just for yourself.
I’ve tried that in the past, and I’m just not a journaler. I really suck at it.
I think saying it out loud or writing it in this post is a great first step to hold yourself accountable for putting yourself first. Maybe you could dedicate a post a week about sharing something that you did for yourself. When you see those posts add up you will also see the benefit of putting yourself first. What’s that saying…No one is happy if Momma isn’t happy?! From what I have read on your blog, I can see you are a caretaker of all things. Now, you are right…it is time to take care of yourself. xo!
I definitely need a way to hold myself accountable. If not I’ll just shrug it off like I’ve always done.
I really truly believe that the only reason weight loss finally stuck for me this time after 30 years of being on a diet (and yeah since I was 7 people!) was me deciding I had to be a little selfish about it. I had to say NO this is important I can’t skip a workout because you need something. I need THIS for me! I also have always known this would be the biggest hurdle for you. I have tried drilling it in your head that its not SELFISH in the grand scheme of things to make yourself healthier for your family. Losing weight and being healthy is actually the greatest gift you can give to your family and to yourself. You deserve it.
I think the biggest thing that has helped me is to schedule it, write it o. Your calendar or planner or whatever and stick to it like you would any other appointment. Someone asks you to stay late to work, “oh, sorry, I’ve got an appointment.”. You don’t have to say that it’s at the gym or doing your OWN laundry. (unless it’s your hubs, of course. I encourage total openness with him. Ha!) and let him help you. I have an appointment at the gym 2 mornings a week and with a running club 1 day a week. Hubs has these on his calendar and plans his time accordingly so he can be there to keep the kids, I can have the car, etc. schedule it in,write in down,and stick to it. I have to remind myself I’m actually serving my family by taking care of myself like this (even a day “shopping” in the city once every couple of months) because a happier, healthier, more relaxed and mentally sharp momma is a better momma.
That’s a good idea. It would be really great if anyone else in our house used a calendar. LOL
Do it. Put YOU first. A lot. Maybe even most of the time.
That’s part of the reason I started seeing my shrink, too. I told her on my first visit, “I always feel like I’m on stage. Trying to make everyone else happy first.”
No more.
And you know what…everyone around me is happier NOW than when I was putting them first.
Imagine that.
You got lots of support…you can do this.
I’ll need supports. And reminders.
The year of You sounds perfect. I think we all need to be a little more selfish as mothers. Remind these kids that they are NOT the center of any universe.
That’s true. My kids (at least the big one) definitely think they are the center of the universe.
My post today is pretty much the same things that you have listed above, at least I know that I am not alone.
It seems like there are several of us that have this issue. We should start a support group. “Hello, my name is Jennifer and I take care of people.”
I have no ideas because I’m a pretty selfish person overall.
I do think this will be fantastic for you. If you can find a way to do it, you will see success in your weight loss goals for sure. Not just because you are spending more time at the gym or whatever, but because you’ll feel better emotionally and that is huge!
I come from a long line of caretakers. I think that is why it is so hard. I’ve never had an example of any other way to be.
My goal is to get my priorities straight. Sort of a variation on yours, but with an organizational vibe.
Oh my gosh! I don’t do my laundry first either! That’s crazy.
But I do a lot of other things for myself so I cannot complain too much.
I’m’ so happy you’ve made the decision to focus on you. All the others will fall into place just fine if you start there. xo
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