Helping out

I’m going to be super busy while I’m out of town this week and I’m not sure how often I’ll get to write a post so I’ve enlisted some of my favorite people to help me out. To start the week off I have a post that Jodi wrote for me. I love how butt kicking inspirational she always is.

I owe Jennifer.

You all should know that. I owe her. She won’t ever say that and in her heart she doesn’t really think that, but its true.

My son has issues. He has from birth. I met Jennifer on the babycenter board when we were both pregnant with our sons. Mine was just born with challenges. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die when he was born. Sad but true. I had post partum depression, my beloved grandmother was dying and now my son was going to be different. I felt like God had deserted me and I had no one although I had family around.

I also had Jennifer.

Over the years I have and still go through periods of depression about my son. It’s very hard to watch someone you love struggle to do basic things most of us take for granted. There have been times where I didn’t wanna talk to anyone or see “normal” kids. Jennifer point blank told me she would NOT allow me to cut her off or cut myself off from life. She said the things other people were scared to say. In a nutshell? GROW A PAIR AND DO THE BEST FOR YOUR CHILD.

She pulls me out. She saves me. She cares.

Now it’s my turn. Jennifer is struggling with her committment to diet and exercise. I feel very strongly that those of us who are morbidly obese (or in my case were) are cutting our lives short. We are robbing ourselves of living life to the fullest. I know this because I lived morbidly obese for all of my adult life until a few years ago.

I used my fear for my son’s future to motivate me. I am motivated to help Jennifer because I owe her. I am also motivated to help her because I don’t want to not have her in my life. I need her. I love her. She loves me enough to listen to me cry and go on about my son and to say what I need to hear. Somehow she just knows. I strongly feel that God sent us each other for a reason. I have to help her. Even if that means that sometimes she wants to kill me.

I won’t stop. I will pull her out. I will save her. I will continue to care.

(p.s. I know that weight is personal. I know that not everyone can do what I did. If Jennifer didn’t come to me and tell me she wanted this. I would not insinuate myself into this situation. I know her and I KNOW she wants this and I KNOW she can do this)

And she’s right. I have fallen off the wagon. But I will get back on. Hopefully before it disappears from sight as it drives off and leaves me on the side of the road. Or something like that.