I’m sure some of you have been wondering about how the whole weight loss thing has been going. The short version is, not good. The long version is so simple and complicated that I’m not sure I can write about it. Of course that won’t stop me from trying.
The first month and a half went really great. I was losing weight. I had started going to the gym. The next two weeks got a little shaky. I went to visit Jodi, and while I did mostly good it was the start of the excuses. And then I went to New Orleans, where it is almost impossible to resist the food no matter how much you plan. I kept trying to pull it out, but then life and stress invaded and I conceded. I let the excuses get the better of me and I caved.
And now I feel like shit. Physically and emotionally. I am mentally beating myself up. The negative talk is definitely winning right now. This is something I want so bad, and I don’t understand why I can’t just do what I need to do. Why do I sabotage myself this way?
The good news… The last two days I have been 100% back on the plan. I went to the gym on Monday, and had planned to go Tuesday. I had my gym bag in my car and was on my way when David called me and I had to go home. But the plan is to go every day I can.
But, I’m scared. I’m worried that I’ll do good for a few days or a few weeks, and then I’ll fall right back into my old routine. I told Jodi yesterday that I take two steps forward and one step back. Or worse, three or four steps back and end up fighting something I thought I had already won.
I want to know how to maintain my focus. I want to know how to change my life for good. I want this problem to be something in the past. I want to beat this.
But I’m terrified I can’t.
I know you guys believe in me, but the real question is, how do I believe in myself?
More posts about my weight loss struggle:
The Battle
Moving Forward
Willpower
Winning the War
Assignments
The shame of being fat
Winning, one step at a time
It’s working
I did it
Managing Food
*This post is being linked up with parenting By dummies for Wordful Wednesday and with Shell at Things I Can’t Say for Pour Your Heart Out.
Just take it day by day. Keep making those choices each day. You can do it
I am a dieting failure. I feel like it is the hugest and most terrible thing and I just can not overcome it no matter how hard I try. I think you are incredibly brave and honest for posting this and will pray for you tonight!
Oh boy. Do I know where you're coming from.
You aren't alone.
I too will pray you find the strength to keep doing it and that you are successful.
You take it one day at a time and you pray.
HUGS Mamma… my progress stalled and backpedaled, but I too, am seeing improvements this week.
I completely understand. I do the same thing, but I don't think I've ever made it a month of doing the right thing.
Hang in there, push through this. I know you want it bad enough. You can do it.
Sometimes I have to remind myself to do the RIGHT THINGS Jennifer and I have been at this for years now. IN fact If I was being totally honest everyday. You just keep putting one foot in front of the other (that needs a pedicure btw) and keep on truckin!
I totally feel your pain. Almost 1 year ago I made a decision that will change my life forever. At almost 300 pounds, I joined weight watchers. I have a husband that works offshore and 2 kiddos at home. I work a full time job. I know exactly how you feel about staying on plan. It is difficult, but know that everyday is a NEW day. Every next bite, meal, snack is a FRESH beginning. It has taken me a long time to realize how to change my actions, but it will come to you.
Realize that this is NOT a diet, but a lifestyle change. And in life, we all make mistakes. I will pray for you to find strength in yourself. It will happen, you will conquer your battle
You forgot the Let's Start a Movement post. You have some good things to say in there.
We left the house one time on a five hour drive to visit family. Stopping for gas, we were delayed 45 minutes in the car wash line, a discouraging delay. Later we came upon a detour in a remote rural area. A wreck so bad that first responders were in shock at what they had seen. How long ago had it happened? An hour. By God's Grace, He took us on a detour that saved our lives.
I don't know what the future holds. I know He wants us to be healthy and able to live life abundantly more than we want it for ourselves.
Nobody does this journey perfectly. The key is to just keep trying.
You can do it, I know you can.
Yup, you've written so well about it here – this struggle to lose weight. It's always on my mind with every cheesey, every chocolate easter egg, every extra calorie! I've joined your site.
Your words sum it all up for me. I am in the same spot, 2 steps forward, 4 steps back! Someday, we'll get there. I guess no matter what, the important thing is that we keep it up, right? right =)
stopping by from parenting By dummies!
I go through this with my struggles to keep my diabetes in check. Sometimes you just have to admit that yesterday's choices weren't as good as they could have been, and then work harder on todays. *hugs*
Stopping by from PYHO
Welll, when I have tough things to overcome, I think if the time frame of "just for today." Just for today I will not put a 1/2 cup of half and half in my coffee. Just for today I will have oatmeal instead of my usual apple fritter. Just for today I will get my self to the gym (for me its walking…I will walk for for 1 hour) and stay for at least 20 minutes doing something active.
Remember my friend I told you about…her children were 6 and 9 when she passed away at 37 years old due to weight related complications. I think of her often…
You can do this. You really can, even if you don't believe you can, you just keep going, take it one day at a time. I did the same as you, awesome for a month, then got out of my routine and I've yet to get back on the horse, but I keep propelling myself forward. I did great yesterday, then ate a chocolate bunny in the evening. Today I'm trying not to flog myself for that bunny, but am just focusing on making good decisions all day today. Step by step, it's a process.
Oh, you can do it!!!
And no matter the setbacks, if you have the mindset that you WILL DO THIS- then you can keep going.
We're here cheering you on!
Oh I'm sorry you are in a bad place right now. It is SO HARD to maintain good habits. So hard. All I can say is try not to beat yourself up about what already happened. You made some mistakes. So what. Move on. I know it is easier said than done. If it helps, I am in a low motivation week. This past Sunday was the first day this year I didn't exercise at all. And I felt terrible about it. But I can't go back and change it. And today it seems I can't stop eating. Ugh. But I'll just try to focus on the positive and tell myself that tomorrow I can make better choices. You can do this Jen. Keep telling us about the successes and the failures. One day there will be more successes.
I am the queen of excuses for everything that has to do with dieting and exercising. But I think for me it is just about looking myself in the mirror everyday and saying if I want to look "like this" fine then I need to accept it and move on, but if I don't then I need to get my a** in gear and make better choices.
Which totally sucks because there is no feel good answer.
But writing about it totally helps.
You can do it.
We can only live moment by moment, so make whatever choice you can for the moment… and treat yourself as lovingly as you would treat your baby girl (i'm sure there is a baby girl inside you too that needs some loving).
p.s. love the picture!
Okay Darlin,
YOU are not a failure. It is comments like that that will depress you and trigger your habits to want to soothe with food. It is a terrible cycle, and honestly you cannot successfully lose weight without finding out the reason why you give up and give in so easily. The fact you want it, and recognize that it is something you need to do is a huge step.
You have a habit. Habits are hard to break, especially when you have triggers that bring about that habit. I will honestly say the first month is the hardest on anyone to diet. In your mind it is easier to give in, because the setback doesn't seem so big since your losses have been small. Total mental game…definitely been there. Once you get through that month then you feel a sense of accomplishment and your mind will start thinking differently.
You are a strong woman. You admit your weaknesses and show your true emotions. You can do this. Of course you will stumble here and there, but embrace it and learn from it and chug on!
You can do this!
Okay Darlin,
YOU are not a failure. It is comments like that that will depress you and trigger your habits to want to soothe with food. It is a terrible cycle, and honestly you cannot successfully lose weight without finding out the reason why you give up and give in so easily. The fact you want it, and recognize that it is something you need to do is a huge step.
You have a habit. Habits are hard to break, especially when you have triggers that bring about that habit. I will honestly say the first month is the hardest on anyone to diet. In your mind it is easier to give in, because the setback doesn't seem so big since your losses have been small. Total mental game…definitely been there. Once you get through that month then you feel a sense of accomplishment and your mind will start thinking differently.
You are a strong woman. You admit your weaknesses and show your true emotions. You can do this. Of course you will stumble here and there, but embrace it and learn from it and chug on!
You can do this!
Try not to look back and focus on what didn't go so well and just look forward. Also, do you have some sort of support system that you can check it with EVERY day? Is that Jodi? I just think that might help you but then different things work for different people. Keep at it girl and please don't be down on yourself. xoxo
I wish I could say something great and encouraging that would make you feel better…the fact is, I have all the same questions you do!
I want and need to lose weight as well and was doing pretty good until recently.
I just try to remember not to let one bad choice trigger a whole mess of 'em or make me give up entirely.
Don't give up~ you can do it! We can do it!
I do the same thing you do – beat myself up when I consider myself failing. You CAN do it – you've already done so well, you can get back on track! ((HUGZ!!))
WW: Signs of Spring…Finally!
I'm right there with you.
I just keep trying. Eventually…something has to work/click and I'll will succeed.
Don't quit.
I hear you, my friend! It is NOT easy. As you know from my recent post, I just joined Weight Watchers. I'm supposed to eat only 29 points worth of food every day. One meal at a restaurant is way over 29 points. I'm supposed to live on brown rice and water…and maybe once slice of cheese. Boo! I want to encourage you to keep at it! You will see happy results soon, I just know it!
I think weight loss is like parenting. Every.single.day we fail at parenting in some ways and we win at parenting in some ways but every.single.day we promise ourselves that we will do better. We will do better later today, tomorrow, and the next day. So, when you have a dieting fail, accept it, promise yourself you'll do better, and move forward. (HUGS)
Jen I have been thinking about this post since yesterday. I just don't know what to say to you… I want you to believe in yourself but I can't make you do that. Please don't compare yourself to anyone and say, "I'm not as strong as…" whoever. You are strong in your own way. I hope you can do this and I believe you can! But whatever happens you always have us here for you!!!