Moving Forward

by Jennifer on February 11, 2011

Yesterday was hard. I spent a large part of the day in tears. Some from just pain, but some were from love. The fact that y’all actually believe in me. That fact that I’m not alone. It helps. It really does. But the thing that helped the most was Jodi.

Yesterday afternoon she messaged me. She told me that I had really upset her because she knows that I can lose weight. In her words I just need to “want it enough.” She believes in me. Which I get rationally, but I think yesterday was the first day I’ve ever gotten it emotionally. In my heart. She told me that she wants to help me.

Jennifer: I feel like i’m floating in a sea, with all of this… stuff around me, like words, and ideas and information and I’m trying to tread water and hold on to something, but every time I grab something it is the wrong thing and I just sink a little farther, and I’m so lost and turned around that I don’t even know what to grab on to anymore.

Jodi: Then grab on to me.

All my life I’ve had to be the strong one. I’ve always been the lifeline. The only person I’ve ever been able to fall into and trust that they would catch me is David. But he doesn’t get this. As much as he would like to help me, he can’t.

I’ve been alone in the middle of group meetings and been on forums and in numerous weight loss groups where I felt like I was standing still while everyone else was racing past. I’ve never felt that I had anyone to rely on. Anyone that would reach out a hand and pull me up.

I’ve never been able to do this by myself.

But I’m not alone anymore.

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{ 12 comments }

Aunt Crazy February 11, 2011 at 2:05 pm: I've been thinking about starting Weight Watchers online, wanna be online WW buddies???
Kira February 11, 2011 at 2:29 pm: Giving you hugs (((hug))) Funny I just posted today about body image, which is a far cry from my usual peppy 50's homemaker vibe.
Cheers,
Just Like June
http://www.justlikejune.com
Gwen February 11, 2011 at 3:23 pm: God bless, Jodi. Grab hold of her and don't let go.
I hate the expression "God never gives you more than you can handle". I don't think that's true. I think the expression SHOULD be "God never gives you more than you can handle … alone." Strength is in numbers, and in communtiy, and in kinship. Sounds like you're not alone.
Que February 11, 2011 at 5:01 pm: It's always good to bear witness to a life-changing moment. Keep us updated with the success.
Connie February 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm: You aren't alone.
I couldn't answer your email yesterday because I didn't know what to say.
I can't figure it out for myself….so I can't explain it to anyone else.
I sometimes I feel like I need real therapy.
jodikris February 11, 2011 at 5:38 pm: You will do it.
Shell February 11, 2011 at 10:28 pm: I'm so glad that you found someone to support you. We shouldn't be alone in our battles.
Jennifer February 12, 2011 at 12:35 am: I love Jodi's answer! What an awesome best friend you have!
Tonya Pruitt February 12, 2011 at 12:42 am: Jenn,
DO as I suggested yesterday via Facebook and take a HARD CLOSE LOOK at Mamavation.com
The ladies on there are in your shoes. They have been my inspiration and my saving grace since October 2010.
They will be your inspiration and your friend as well!
I love what Jodi told you… she is such a great friend for you!
Chanel February 12, 2011 at 2:55 am: It is always a blessing to have someone that you can grab a hold to and lean on for support. That is a really great friend and she told you exactly what you needed to hear.
Keely February 13, 2011 at 2:39 am: I am so glad you found the lifeline you needed
Ivy February 16, 2011 at 12:51 pm: You have a 'GEM' of a friend there. Like she said you CAN do it.