I haven’t had a good few weeks. I had a week recovering from the flu and then a week where I really didn’t follow any kind of plan at all, and then this week I’ve been pretty much, kinda sorta on target. The good news is that I weighed myself (only once) this week and I haven’t gained any weight. Or if I did I had lost it again by the time I weighed.
The bad news is that I was reminded, yet again, of how weak I really am. School started last week so I had bought Baby Girl some lunch supplies. Chips. I now know that I can’t have chips in the house. Basically I can’t have anything in the house. If it is here I eat it.
I’m not sure how some people have the ability to control the food they put in their mouth, but I don’t have that. Or if I do it is so buried down deep inside me that I can’t find it. It is definitely one of the skills that I need to acquire. The skill to say “no I’m not hungry right now” and “no that isn’t the best choice.”
Also with school starting last week I realized how psychologically dependent I am on food. The day Baby Girl started kindergarten I was so beside myself that after I dropped her off at daycare after orientation the first thing I did was go to McDonalds. I just HAD to have a quarter pounder with cheese and fries. And even worse, I’ll admit that it did actually make me feel a little better.
I have all of these issues and emotions mixed up with food that I’m not sure how I’ll overcome them. I know that I need to, but I’m not sure how to actually do it. Right now I’m taking one day at a time. I’m trying not to beat myself up when I eat something that I shouldn’t. And I’m not putting chips on the grocery list anymore.
{ 22 comments }
When I went to the store on Weds I had to mentally pry my fingers off of the full strength Coke…and just put a case of Diet Coke in my basket. It was really hard. I am drinking my last FSC as I type…the others haven't even gone into the fridge to chill – that's how excited I am to switch back to silver. Grrrr.
Good for you that you maintained what you had lost and didn't gain!! That's always a good feeling.
I feel your pain. Yesterday I had four PB cups. You'd think that would be enough. NOPE. Add a brownie and a cookie…then a burger for dinner. WTH is wrong with me???
I so wanted McD's for breakfast this morning, but I was able to talk myself out of it…however, just barely!
Hang in there. It has to get easier at some point, right??
There is no food in the house right now, because I am so keyed up. I am just gobbling down my emotions every time I approach the table. Between the adoption and the energy it takes not to go insane with this child…I am not relating well to the table.
I am so glad you did not bust me out over the cupcake affair on FB and you know those stinkers have SEC college football themed cupcakes now? I hate them.
Don't give up! Everyone slips. Everyone has their foods that trigger them into a big old eat-a-thon. And you are one step ahead by recognizing that food is your crutch to get you through tough times–for some people it's pills, others, it's booze, or cigarettes, or a number of other things.
Just take it a day at a time.
You just put onto paper everything I struggle with. Seriously. It is like food is more my friend than anything else, lol.
But I am with you. No chips!
You seem determined, though. I think you can do it!
I feel your pain. I have no restraint so I just don't buy stuff I can't eat. No chips in the house. I buy them some kids snack and goldfish crackers which I wont touch anyway. I'ts hard. Stick with it
Thanks for commenting on my guest blog over at Scary Mommy.
Food is such a tough issue. My spouse has a lot of the same issues with food that you mentioned.
Me, I just love to eat when it is front of me and I want to eat on a schedule. Oh AND I want some bread folks. Give me bread. Give me bread. Give me chocolate.
Try not to be so hard on yourself. The fact that you are blogging about it means you are thinking about it.
Have a wonderful weekend.
-Renee'
@FunCityGal
I am such an emotional eater! Its always one reason of another. And if it's in the house I'll eat it. Good job on not gaining any weight though!!
If it makes you feel any better, a quarter pounder with cheese makes most of us feel better!
Stop being so hard on yourself. Gaining self control takes time and a lot of practice. Keep the treats out of the house, and don't give them to your kids either. Nobody needs chips (no matter how delicious they are!)
It's a daily struggle.
I've found myself buying things that I shouldn't because I have a coupon for it and it's inexpensive.
Everyone has setbacks in their journey. You can't beat yourself up. I am emotionally attached to food too. It took me awhile to figure out why.. but basically, in college, my best friends and I used to always hang out at Elena's after class. I miss them so much… and when I left TX, I went to a whole other country, where my nextdoor neighbor was obese. And very motherly… and she "comforted my lonely, childless, friendless, familyless, husbandless (because he spent most of the time deployed) self by inviting me over to her house and ordering chinese takeout while we watched American tv shows. So.. somehow, to me, friendship and love became centered around food. And with this military lifestyle, I very often lose any close friends I make…. and I eat. It's something I have to deal with too.. and yes, eating actually DOES make me feel better too!
As for the chips… are there any chips that Baby Girl likes but you absolutely hate ( for example, I hate sour cream and onion chips)? If so, then buy her those. That is what I had to do with cookies in my house. I buy Oreos because I hate them. If I have peanut butter cookies, I will eat them all before my children do.
I have th same problem with emotions and food. I had a bad day at work a few days ago, so I made myself feel better with a Wendy's combo.
I don't know how to fix it, but I definitely know that I seek a lot of comfort in food. It's a tough battle to fight.
I am new here! What a great blog
Would love you to come visit me too!
http://www.trying2staycalm.com/
Geene Roth wrote a book, "Women, Food and God" it is supposed to be really good. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but it is on my list. I've come to realize the happier or more fulfilled you are in life, the better you tend to eat. I hear your life is well rounded and full. You even sound really happy, but maybe there is a dream inside of you waiting to be born. Don't lose heart and most importantly love you for you, we all have areas of life we want to improve. This doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a normal person, whose easy to love.
Chips are sooo unbelievably hard to ignore if they're in the house!!! I open the cupboard and I rationalize my thinking by saying that if I eat them now, then they'll be gone and I won't be able to eat them anymore!…. yah I KNOW.. it doesn't make sense! lol. Maybe it's just a way of getting rid of them, and then getting myself to not buy them again? I'm really liking Lundberg Brown Rice Chips though… at least their sorta healthy!
Come check out my blog if you have a minute or two!
http://www.runningfromcupcakes.com
Hello! Found your blog through SITS! I read through some previous entries. I really hope you don't take offense to this statement – but you remind me a lot of my mother
I'm a mother myself, and I am trying hard as it may be to make it look as easy as she did! I only wish to become as great as y'all. This newest entry reminds me of her the most – she has been trying for the past two years to stick to her diet, but she makes such scrumptious food that it's been hard not to give in to her own cooking! LOL.
I'm not one to give advice when I haven't had enough time to obtain half as much knowledge as many of these mommy bloggers out here – but I still want to say this;
Everyone slips, and you have to give yourself credit for getting as far as you have. Not to mention, you look beautiful! You have children and a husband that you also devote your time to, so you can't be so hard on yourself.. Especially during a time when your baby girl is now starting school. I am doing all possible to cherish my son as a baby because time seems to go by so fast! I'm sorry you're going through that!
Agh, I tend to ramble on… but anyways, I look forward to reading more posts from you – and hopefully learning how to 'make it look easy' as a mother LOL
- Monica B.
I know how you feel. My eating habits are tied to my emotions. As a child, we only got to eat out on VERY special occasions, so now I feel like I can make anything a special occasion by eating out. Gah! Mad props to you for not gaining any back!
Thank you for stopping by and visiting me on my SITS day!
I know how you feel. Hubby grilled hot dogs and burgers. I never know how to control myself around hot dogs.
Its tough, but like others have said, at least you are acknowledging it and writing about it. That's fantastic!
I definitely don't buy chips or cookies that me or hubby like, but what I will do sometimes is buy myself a kids meal at McDs or ChickFila. And I try to savor every bite! That way it gets the craving over, but it is not a humongous calories splurge and it usually will do me for 2 or 3 weeks!
Keep at it, it will make a difference!
Bernice
http://bernicewood.wordpress.com/2010/09/06/is-simplifying-your-life-too-complicated/
Oh girl you are not the only one! I have that same problem. Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself!
I'm sorry you feel like you're slipping but at least you're keyed into what's going on in your body. I think that's the beginning.
How are you about portion control? Can you enjoy food without having a big portion of it? Maybe, instead of completely denying yourself the foods you enjoy, can you just limit how much you get? I don't know if that would work, but I'm a big believer in just doing things in moderation. I think if we deny ourselves completely of things we love, it just makes our life miserable.
Happy Fall Blogging Sits-tah!
Carrie
the5thgirl.com
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